It's All In Your Head: Part Two
by sevenall
After breakfast Elizabeth went to check on Cerebro and found Jean there. Jean had tied back her beautiful red hair and wore surgical gloves and a white robe. Components and flow charts, both scribbled and typed lay scattered all over the work-bench. The room was warm and damp, the air-conditioning switched off. Jean was intent on her work, but she looked up and gave Elizabeth a quick smile.
"The Professor said I should help you", Elizabeth said.
"Good.We're updating this again. It's partly Shi'ar work, which I'll leave to Charles, but partly it's Forge. He wrote up this handbook for dummies before he left, so I've been doing pretty well, but I could use some help".
"Where did you get the robe?"
"Over there".
The door of a small locker opened as if by itself and out came a robe and a pair of gloves. It was even the right size, Elizabeth reflected, as she put it all on.
"How long will it take to put Cerebro back together?"
"Two weeks at most. I mean, if we really screw up".
As Elizabeth set to work, she marveled again at the complexity of Jean's feelings. Never mind the outwardly composed Jean, at ease with herself and the world, the Jean inside needed love and reassurance almost every second. Which her subliminals made sure she got. From the Professor, who was secretly in love with her, from Ororo, her best friend, from Scott who would walk over dead bodies for her. Elizabeth sighed. Thinking about Scott hurt a little. She had wanted him so bad, even messed with his mind, which hadn't been ethical at all, just foolish and in the end, it like nothing had happenend between them. They had just gone on with their lives. To be fair, it wasn't as if she had really loved him. She had just wanted to be special to someone. Just like Jean.
After some hours, the work with Cerebro got gruesome. Fragile components and tools and a handbook with hopeless diagrams. This wasn't a job for dummies, it was a job for a genius who could bridge great gaps in the logic. Elizabeth was sweating under the robe. Concentrating became harder every second as her fingers trembled with tension and fatigue. She made a mistake, caught herself, made another. She was sure Jean took it all in.
"Why don't you go off for a while, Betsy?" Jean asked, pausing for a moment.
"I can manage". <Sure.>
"Yes", Jean indulged her, "but you didn't get much sleep last night and we're all running the obstacle course this afternoon".
"We are?" Elizabeth bitterly regretted doing the kata. "Maybe I'll take a break then".
"You do that. I'm afraid there isn't much food, but we've got a seven-year supply of noodles". Jean winked.
It was remarkable that they could all survive on a diet consisting mainly of noodles and sandwiches. There was a schedule for cooking, but no one respected it much except when Ororo made them. Scott believed food was heaven-sent and the Professor could probably live for weeks on just coffee, without noticing anything was amiss. After examining the contents of the refrigerator Elizabeth decided to have a nap instead.
**Time was running out. Fast. The entity could feel light and strength leak away with every pulse-beat. It clung to the last seconds of life, coveting immortality, life. Already modified in thousands of ways to postpone the inevitable end, it mutated once more on genetic level. It waited for the result, knowing that it had not the strength to mutate again. After only a very short time relief flooded in. Respiration continued. The stress on the tortured organs was relieved. The entity had found a new way to survive. Unfortunately, this way would ensure the death of the entity Elizabeth Braddock.**
Elizabeth woke up with a start. Sleep hadn't refreshed her, as she had hoped. She felt cold and ill. God, she was going to be sick. She was out of the bed in a flash and got to the bathroom just in time. <<Are you all right, Elizabeth?>> How convenient. The Professor contacting her telepathically while she was dry-heaving.
<<Yes, sir>>, she sent back to him.
<<See me in my office.>>
<<Yes, sir.>> Her stomach cramped one last time and he hastily withdrew.
"I wonder if doing the kata this morning has anything to do with your nausea", Xavier suggested. "It would be a very natural reaction".
Nothing even remotely like privacy in this house. He probably had a bug in every damn tree. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. <I could be pregnant for all I know>
"I strongly advised you against using those abilites", Xavier continued.
"The body remembers. I don't. Sir". She shrugged.
"Do not give me that sort of answer, Elizabeth".
"Nothing else I can say".
Sensing her reluctance to talk, Xavier changed the subject.
"I want to change your schedule. See Hank at 14. Math. The two of you can fix the dinner.You do the obstacle course tomorrow.
Hank didn't like to be disturbed, that was evident.
"I thought you would participate in the amusements of the afternoon, mainly plowing aimlessly through layers of soil, while upsetting the wildlife", Hank greeted her, his furry eyebrows knit together.
"The Professor told me to see you", Elizabeth replied defensively. "He says you have some math you need to get off your mind".
Her vague attempt at humour passed unnoticed.
"Math, is it? Physics would be better. We need a good engineer".
That was another try. Hank kept trying to coax her into physics, especially electronics. She supposed he was factually right, they did need another engineer and she was one of the X-Men who had a head for math. Still, physics were unsatisfying. Not exact enough.
"I want my degree in math and we've got Forge anyway", she pointed out.
"I don't think we've exactly got Forge", Hank grumbled.
He was really in a bad mood. Even his verbal eloquence was quenched. Elizabeth decided to change tactics.
"How's your research going?" she asked sweetly, peering over his big blue shoulder.
"Got an article turned down for the third time by both Nature and Science". <So that's what's bothering you?> He sighed. "They won't believe my new technique in limiting dilution is as accurate as the old one. It's technically very simply, but the matemathical variables are hell to work out. I guess that's where I lose them. Anyway, they won't publish". He swept the papers he'd been working on off the table and stared morosely at the wall.
Elizabeth didn't know what to say. She knew that Hank would receive better professional credibility, not to mention appreciation, working at an university or doing industrial research. Very few of those places wanted to hire a mutant, though, especially such an obvious mutant as Hank. Besides, he had devoted his life to mutant research and Xavier provided the best working conditions for that. Unable to do anything else for him, she began to pick up his papers for him. Hank didn't seem to want them, so she put them on her own desk and started putting them into order.
"It's the Poison distribution, isn't it?"
He didn't answer.
"Give me your data, please".
He pointed to one of the screens, interested against his will. Elizabeth flipped through his data. There was decidedly something funny about the mathematical model he had constructed. She frowned.
"Why did you use two matrices?"
A blue, furry arm reached past her, called up a program and parameters. She watched it intently for ten minutes.
"It's alright, it's working, but it isn't what you included in the final model. If it was, it would look like this".
Elizabeth scribbled down some notes on a scrap of paper.
"You need to compensate here and here". She stabbed at the paper. "Run this through and check the standard deviation again. I'll bet it's less than the last time".
She smiled triumphantly, rose light shimmering around her. Hank looked at her, a certain wonder in his eyes.
"That was smart", he said. "How did you come up with it? There are three or four visible errors, but there's nothing wrong with the idea In fact, it's original. Do you mind if I use it?"
"No, go ahead".
"You see, the first error you made here was assuming that the equilibrium would be constant. It isn't. But that can easily be corrected, just put in a second order differential equation and solve it numerically. That's where another set of variables comes in".
Elizabeth smiled again. There would be a math class anyway.
After dinner, the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly. Elizabeth and Hank had made
Chinese food, which had been praised by everyone and Hank had been been so pleased with
her that he had offered to do the dishes all by himself. There was mud all over the house,
since Jean, Scott, Warren and Bishop had come in directly from their exercise. They were
tired and bruised, but in very good spirits. Scott had made a clean run and Bishop had
only gotten hit once. During the dinner they had been laughing and discussing the run over
and over. She had felt a little left out until she remembered her day's work with Hank and
saw the new glow in his eyes. They had gone into the living room with their wine-glasses
and Warren stood at the window with Jean, Scott and Bishop were playing chess and Hank was
humming to himself in the kitchen. Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment. She had had
more wine than she used to and felt pleasantly warm and fuzzy. Suddenly she felt no
sensation of gravity. She was off her center, falling, falling...and there was Warren
behind her, the light rustle of his metal wings and his fingers toying with her hair.. And
she was immediately ashamed for any little stab of jealousy she had felt, seeing him with
Jean. <These guys have a history. Be fair. Jean never
hurt you, did she?>
"I'm tired".
"Not the whole truth, I think", Xavier said, the yellow hoverchair sliding up noiselessly next to her.
"Leave her alone", Warren said with unexpected heat. "You've no right to eaves-drop on her".
Xavier looked taken aback, but nodded.
<
As she had thought, Warren had some paperwork he had to finish first. He sat at his big mahogany desk, his back turned to her, while she lay on the bed, half-asleep. The windows were open, letting in the sounds of the evening, the way they both liked.His wings were fully extended, to shield her from the light, because her headache was back with a vengeance.As usual, he was putting her needs before his own. Elizabeth knew without either pride nor remorse that she was everything to Warren. She alone had brought him out of null mode, made him vulnerable to hurt and sorrow once again. For a long time he had been untouchable. Now he was not. She thought that maybe she had been cruel to him.
**Loneliness was a terrible thing. Initiation of replication started. The entity made sure every offspring would inherit the trait of immortality. They would have the whole of eternity together.**