The Hard Way: Part One

by Sascha Morgan

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

PART THE FIRST: MONET

Every birth a crime, every sentence life

It is easier to die than to remember

There are days she cannot remember who she is.

Other days she refuses to believe what she was.

Sometimes she hears screaming. The screams of thousands. Over and over and over again they echo through her head. Sometimes there's a flicker of recognizion in her mind at the sound of one of the voices. But she is never sure if the voice she hears belongs to the one she knew. She doesn't know anybody anymore. Or is it that nobody knows her?

Other times she hears laughter. Happy, thrilled laughter. Then she stops. Just stops and stands absolutely still for a while. She bathes in the laughter, lets it wash over her. Sometimes she recognizes a laugher inbetween the many and she hopes... She wishes it belongs to the one she knew. That the one she knew is happy now. For a while. Before the next shift comes.

She doesn't fear the shift anymore. She expects it. It's become... a habit. For a moment, before the ripple hits her, she hopes. Always, she hopes. She hopes the shift will bring happiness this time. That the world she enters will not be one of horror, but of joy.

She travels alone now. It wasn't always so. In the beginning, when the shifts had just begun, she had been with her friends. She didn't think of them as friends. Not then. They were... Team-mates, comrades in arms, but not friends. Now as she remembers them, she cannot remember anything but friendship and happiness.

One by one, she lost them to the shifts. Sometimes one would just... Disappear. Other times one would be caught in a shift and be torn apart. The first time she saw one of her friends die in that manner, she screamed and screamed and screamed. And she reached out with her mind, seeking the other's. For a brief, all too brief, second, she made contact.

::Don't give up. Never give up. Never!:: Jubilee had told her. And then she was gone.

Not all of those who died, had died instantly.

Sean had lived for hours after losing his legs. There had been blood everywhere. They'd tried to stop it, but it had been soo much. Too much. They had to watch him die. She had never cried again after that. She didn't seem to have any tears left.

After Sean was gone, there had been only three of them left. Then the shift had come, and she had entered the new world on her own.

She heard their laugher sometimes and wished it were her friends, though in her mind she knew it weren't. Other times she heard their screams and was glad they were dead. She hated the screams. They made her walk faster, run, fly, just get away from them.

Sometimes the screams were her own.

She looks up towards the horizon and sees the ripple spreading across the landscape, twisting it and leaving it behind one that's completely diffrent from first. She's seen it happen so many times now. She searches for clues to how the shift will be this time. Happy? Sad? Terrible?

She doesn't know.

The shift hits her, she closes her eyes...

...And opens them to the sight of the smiling face of one that was once her friend. She feels her face soften into smile. "Hello, Paige."

"Monet!" the blonde who looks exactly like her friend exclaims in joy.  She is dressed in what Monet recognizes as the first version of their Generation X uniform, and her hair is braided into one long braid hanging over her shoulder. Paige moves forward to hug her. "How are you? Are you all right? It's been so long since last time I saw you."

She sits up, her eyes sad but her lips still smiling. "That was not me, I'm afraid."

"What?" the other girl pulls back in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"My..." She hesitates a bit. The memory is still painful. A lot of them are. "My Paige was torn apart by a shift."

"A shift?" Paige looks puzzled at her. "I don't understand... Are you feeling all right, Monet?"

Monet returns the puzzled look. The girl cannot possibly mean that she doesn't know? That is impossible. She scrutinizes the girl and realizes what must have happened. This Paige hasn't been able to handle the constant shifts and as a result, she's gone mad. It's happened to many before her and Monet cannot blame her. She can only regard her with a mix of pity and jealousy.

To be able to forget...

She looks away from the girl and surveys her surroundings. She's standing outside her old school in Snow Valley. It's winter and the snow is falling gently down, covering everything in a white, pure blanket. It's a thing of beauty and a rare sight for her. She cannot remember the last time there was beauty around her. A beauty that isn't also dangerous, with traps waiting to spring underneath it.

"Oh bloody 'ell!" an exasperated voice says behind her. "Not again! Thought there'd just _been_ a bloody shift! What, they're coming once an hour now?"

Monet whips around and in a defencive stance. She has found that that is generally a good idea now-a-days since you can never know who is your friend and who is your enemy in the world you have just entered. She sees a frowning twenty something girl standing in front of some bushes. She is dressed in black from her combat boots to her leather jacket and is wearing what seems like an armory of knives in diffrent sizes. Including the one she is holding in front of herself as she waits for other two to react. It looks like a cross between a saber and a sword. Too long to be a saber and too bent to be a sword. She seems vaguely familiar. Then again, who doesn't?

"Kitty! What are you doing here? Jubilee said you and her and Mr. Logan were going camping. Are you back already?" Paige is practically bubbling over with joy, her blonde bangs falling into her face as she rushes over to the brunette.

'Kitty' raises an eyebrow and doesn't lower her saber/sword an inch. "I beg your pardon?"

Monet shakes her head sadly, holding her arms out from her body to signalize that she is no threat. "She hasn't been able to handle the shifts."

"Ah." The brunette seems to understands as she nods and sheathes her sword/saber in the holster on her back. "Friend of yours?"

"No. I just arrived here."

Paige regards them both with friendly confusion. It's clear to Monet though she is insane, she will not try to hurt anybody. She beams at them suddenly. "Are you hungry? I have food. Lots of it. Inside."

Monet exchanges a look with the brunette and nods. "Thank you. There has been a while since last time I ate. If you would show us the way...?"

Paige smiles and nods. She walks up to the house and slips inside, there she pauses and waits for Monet and Kitty to catch up. Kitty is looking around curiously, a slight furrow on her brow. Her face clears up as they enter the kitchen.

"I think I remember this place. Didn't Emma Frost and her Hellions live here?"

"Oh but that's ages ago!" Paige replies. She walks over to the refridgerator and opens it. She pulls out a coke bottle and places in on a nearby bench. "We've lived here for years now."

"'We'?" Another arched eyebrow from the brunette.

"Why, yes. Emma, Sean, Jono, Jubilee, Monet, Everett, Clarice, Angelo and I."

"And where are they now?" Kitty inquires.

Paige stiffens with her back towards them. "Here. Somewhere. I'm sure they're here somewhere. They have to be. They _have_ to be!

There's a desperate edge to her voice and Kitty backs down. "All right. Yes. Yes, I understand. I'm sure I'll see them later."

Monet looks at them both. There has been such a long time since she was last with people. Friendly people. It is... Strange yet it makes her feel warm. She lets her backpack slide off her shoulder and grabs it with her hand before it hits the floor. She finds a vacant chair and places it there. She sits down next to it, one hand holding the strap of the backpack. Just in case.

The kitchen they're in is vastly diffrent from the one Monet remembers. The tiles are pale blue instead of green. The refridgerator is on the right instead of the left. The table is bigger and there are two extra chairs. Small differences, but differences never the less.

Kitty has turned away from Paige, deaming her harmless and is studying Monet closely. Monet looks back. As far as she's able to tell, this Kitty is different from the one from Monet's world. She's harder, more vary, always on her guard and has nothing of the friendliness Monet remembers from her few encounters with the Excaliberian.

"I'm Kit Wisdom," the brunette says finally. "And you are?"

"Monet Yvette St. Croix," Monet introduces herself. "Have you been travelling a long time?"

Kit gives her a wry grin. "Who's to tell these days? Time seems to be as buggered as the rest of the bleedin' universe. But, yes, I've been on the road for quite a while now. Don't have count of how many worlds I've seen. You?"

"The same."

"You're travelling alone?"

"Yes... I didn't always, but... And you?"

Kit nods. "Yeah, been on my own for most of the time. Travelled with an Amanda and a Kurt once, and tagged along the Marauders a while ago, but I've been alone most of the time. Safer that way, you know."

"The Marauders?" /This scrambling of universes has certainly lead to strange bedfellows,/ Monet thinks.

"Yeah." Kit looks a bit bemused. "They were the good guys where they come from. It was an... Odd experience, I can tell you that."

"I think I ran into them once. There was a Rogue with them then," Monet says. Her eidetic memory has kicked in again and kindly given her the information. It's a part of her mutant powers and as with all her powers, it's not precisely trustworthy these days. "She called herself Renegade, I believe."

"That's the ones!"

"Seemed like nice people," Monet comments, hoping to get Kit to talk some more. It's been too long since she's heard another person's voice. Kit is only too happy to comply with her unspoken wish.

"Oh they are. They're a bit sick of being treated as scum by most of the people they meet, but Vic and Grey are doing their best to keep the morale up. They're trying to track down the Twelve, by the way." Kit starts toying with an ashtray she's found on the table.

Monet blinks. "Why?"

"According to their Destiny - You know Destiny, right? Lady with premonitions?" Monet nods and Kit continues. " - The twelve are going... Well, _were_, going to cause the end of the world. Personally, I think they might be on to something. Though what the heck they're hoping to achive by finding any of them I don't know. I guess they just need a goal to keep going."

"Food's done!" Paige's cheery voice announces before Monet can reply. The blonde places the coke bottle, two glasses, two plates, two forks and a casserolle on the table.

"You're not eating?" Kit questions.

Paige backs up, shaking her head. "No. No, I have... Eaten. Already. This is for you two. Hope you enjoy."

"It looks delicioius," Kit assures her.

While Kit and Paige talk, Monet picks at her food. It looks suspiciously like it's moving. That is probably a bad sign. The color - hot pink combined with dark green - doesn't make it look any more promising. /Wonder what it is.../ She prods it with her fork. Then again, maybe it's better not knowing.

Kit talks Paige in to sitting down by the table and they talk while Monet and Kit eats. None of them asks Paige what she's cooked. Apparently Kit doesn't want to know either. They don't find out much about Paige. She withdraws from them when asked a personal question. It's not uncommon and neither Monet nor Kit reacts on it.

Slowly the amicable atmosphere changes into something more sinister, menacing. Monet looks around, sensing something, but not sure what. Kit does the same, while Paige turns pale and whimpers. She appears to shrink into herself.

"No..." The fear is evident in Paige's voice.

"You know what's happening?" Kit asks sharply.

"No! No. No. No." She shakes her head, eyes wide with fear. "No. No. No. No..."

Monet, on impulse, lowers her mental shields and is hit with a wave of hatred/anger/violence. Her arms flies up to her head for protection as she desperately tries to raise her shields again. She screams. Over and over again.

Dimly she sees Paige sliding off the chair and crawling under the table. She's whimpering, pleading, crying. She's terrified, Monet notes somewhere under the avalance of hate she's trying to lock out of her head.

Kit has jumped on her feet and drawn that peculiar sword of hers. She's sprouting a mix of British and American curses as she tries to get a lock on the enemy.

A laughter, wild, insane, echoes through Monet's head. It's rolls through her head like waves for while before it disappears completely. Monet is still screaming, but she can feel a difference. The mental waves isn't as strong now. She doesn't need the screams as outlets for her fear and agony anymore.

A creature of fire comes into focus infront of her eyes. There's something oddly familiar about it. Something there's a hint of in the mental attack as well... Then, suddenly, abruptly, she knows who it is.

"Jono..." she breathes.

The laughter echoes through her head again. ~Of course!~

"Who the hell's the bastard and what the hell's he up to?" Kit demands to know.

~Is the kitten confused?~ Jono-creature mocks. ~Is the kitten scared? Oh but we can't have that, can we?~

Kit snorts. "You're just a Phoenix-wannabe. Why should I be scared?"

~Oh but you should be!~ Jono-creature laughs again. ~You should be. Kath, Blood, the kitten claims no fear. Show her, will you?~

"With pleasure," a hard, accented voice says and mist drifts through the wall, followed by a phased girl who looks exactly like Kit. The mist quickly forms into a chocolade skinned woman with a mohawk. Her red eyes are glowing and the smile is eerie.

"Who are you?" Monet asks. She's gotten control over herself and her shields are raised once more. She looks up at them from where she's still seated by the table. "Why are you doing this?"

Her questions if more a way of buying time while she is recovering than a wish to know the answers. Buy time. Look for a way out. If you can, sieze it. If not, fight. Emma and Sean had trained her well. They would have been proud.

The three of them regards her with some surprise.

"Why not?" Ororo says and smiles again. "The worlds gone to hell and I'm going with it. There's nothing left for me to be human for." She laughs wildly. "Correction, I'm not even human anymore."

~Besides,~ Jono-creature adds. ~What does it matter if we kill, maim and/or terrorize you? There's an infinite number of you still left. What does one more to or from matter in the overall picture?~

While the three's attention has been focused on Monet, Kit has been edging closer to the door. She's not lived for so long, survived the death of her husband, the deaths of her friends, in order to get killed now by some demented version of herself.

Jono-creature whips around suddenly and directs a blast of psionic energy towards her. Kit throws herself out of the way. The energy hits the door and blows it up. He shakes his 'head' and shakes a 'finger' at her. ~No, no. Bad kitten. All for one, one for all, remember? She dies. You die. That's the rules.~

Monet is on her feet. She frowns. Doesn't Jono know that Paige is there with them? Or is Paige with him? The fear the girl is displaying suggests otherwise. But then, the fear itself is an indication that she knows what is going on. Monet shakes her head slightly. It is not important. Surviving is. It is her way of paying her last respects to the petite firecracker who had earned her reluctant respect during the time she'd known her. That she would survive and not give up, had been Jubilee's last request. Monet is not going to let her down.

[next part]

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