Possibilities Still Unborn

by Kerri G.

Part 1

A spasm brought Charlotte out of her reverie where she sat at her desk in the library. She patted her stomach in a comforting manner, not sure which of them she was soothing, the baby or herself.

She found herself daydreaming a great deal these days, the slow laziness of fall contributing to the general lassitude she felt. Fall was always her favorite time of year, she missed spending it in New England this season, but she wasn't going anywhere near Logan. There would be more in the decades to come.

She spent most of her time here in the library, reading and cataloguing her inventory, on the Internet, sometimes just sitting and staring at the portraits on the walls. Mother, Father, Raven; they all had their places here. She found herself talking to them more than she ever had in the past.

Her TK was pitifully weak, but she was grateful for what she had. At the accelerated rate her pregnancy developed she wouldn't have been able to do much without it, and there was no way she would call either one of her sons home to find her like this.

What could she say? 'Gee, boys, I know I've lectured over the years about being careful, sorry I didn't listen to my own speeches. You're going to have a new baby sister. You all play nice now.'

She did feel foolish, incredibly stupid. She ended a self-imposed 25-year celibacy in one unforgettable night with the very man she'd spent mourning for more than 50 years. The man she'd tried to kill.

The man she didn't want around right now.

As mixed as her emotions were about Logan right now, and she was sure hormones played a big part of that, she didn't hate him for this. There were other reasons to hate him. She was just as responsible for this situation as he was. This time around she knew she could survive. This time around she knew he wasn't dead.

Another twinge, a little stronger than the first. She grimaced and tried to move into a more comfortable position.

She hadn't told anyone, giving the boys excuses as to why she couldn't come visit them, putting them off when they wanted to come home. Jess was easy, he was having too much fun at the school, and with Logan. It was the one thing about the whole bizarre situation that made whatever pain she felt worthwhile. Jess had his father's attention, and he thrived on it.

Thomas was more perceptive, but he heeded her wishes, allowing his work to consume a good portion of his attention. He assumed she'd had a few too many shocks this last summer to want company. He was right, after a fashion.

It was easier not to answer the phone. If she answered, it might be *him* and he was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. Logan did call occasionally, every two or three days, to leave her provoking and infuriating messages on the machine, but she never returned his calls. He was doing it to goad her, she was sure, letting her know he hadn't forgotten his wife this time around. For some damn reason he couldn't just go away and leave her alone. Goddamn territorial bastard.

Her e-mail wasn't safe either. How he ever got her address, she didn't know. She first suspected Hank of giving it to him, but when she set up a second e-mail address for other correspondence and Logan found his way into that, she finally gave up. Now she filed them all unread in a folder. Why she kept them, she couldn't say. Just another reason to torture herself. Paying penance for being so stupid, if she believed in penance.

Another pain, this one a great deal sharper. She frowned, wincing a little. She was about six weeks from delivery, she shouldn't be feeling this way yet. A definite plus being her mother's daughter, pregnancies were only 18 weeks in duration. If it had been any longer she couldn't have hidden it from the boys. She wanted to simply have her baby, and then tell Thomas and Jess. Logan could go back to hell.

Lenore wasn't due here for another two weeks as it was, the Quapoan midwife the only one she trusted to bring her child into the world and keep her secrets.

Maybe she just needed to move around a little, she had been sitting here for hours.

Pushing herself up with difficulty, she almost lost her grasp on the arms of the chair in the process. Swaying slightly, she took a few hesitant steps before another pain knifed its way through her abdomen. With a gasp, she lost her balance, barely catching herself before she could land on her stomach.

This time the agonized cry escaped her as her insides twisted violently. She felt the baby move and struggle as a gush of warm liquid flooded her legs, pooling under her on the hardwood floor.

Charlotte made an effort to reach the telephone, but it was too far away, and she was in too much pain to concentrate. ~MISAE!~ she managed to ~scream~ out before the blackness washed over her.

800 miles away in San Francisco at the Luna Foundation on Angel Island, Thomas jerked back from the manuscript he studied, falling backwards in his chair, Charlotte's ~voice~ echoing painfully in his head.

His associates, Matthew Brouwer and Alex Monroe, jumped from their chairs to kneel on the floor next to him. "Are you all right?" Alex asked, concerned. She put a hand against his forehead only to draw back in alarm at the psychic backlash.

Matthew helped him up, holding him steady as Thomas swayed on his feet.

He shook his head, face clenched in an effort to shake the resounding aftereffect from his mind, his hands pressed to his face. "It's Charlotte. I have to get home."

A flash of light on the lawn outside the patio doors drew Jean's attention from the kitchen counter where she was preparing dinner. The light reminded her of Charlotte's mode of transportation, but it wasn't Charlotte there. A large blond man with a very wild look in his eyes made a straight dash for the door.

Jean sent out an alarm on the psi band, and made a grab for the stranger with her TK. He was strong, but she managed to get him against the wall.

"Please," he gasped, "I need Dr. McCoy. Emergency!"

Bishop was the first to respond, his weapon primed and aimed at the struggling man. Scott and Rogue were a close second.

"Thomas sent me," he rasped out, trying to catch his breath around the hold on his neck, "we need help now!"

Jean believed him -- he was too frantic to be lying -- and let him go. The big man stumbled and righted himself, grabbing onto the table for support. "I need McCoy now!"

Hank came in behind the others to hear this. "Matthew, what's wrong? Are you ill?" He put a hand on the man's arm.

Matthew shook his head. "Charlotte's badly hurt, she needs a doctor."

Hank pulled him along to the elevator. "Let me get my bag. What exactly is wrong?" The elevator doors closed before anyone could hear what was said.

They found Hank with the visitor in the Medlab, the blue furry doctor frantically packing a bag while Dr. Cecilia Reyes handed him items from a cabinet. "We need to bring her back here," he insisted.

Matthew shook his head. "That might not be possible."

"I should be going, McCoy," Cecilia grumbled. "I am the medical doctor."

"Matthew has already explained the conditions of treatment, Dr. Reyes. I need you here to prepare the medlab for our return."

"I don't know if she can be moved yet. Take a look at her first. If you need to move her, he'll do it, but he doesn't want to bring her here." Matthew shook his head. "Raven is the head of the family, and his word is law."

"Hank, what's-" Scott began.

"We will return as soon as can be arranged," Hank closed up his bag. "Charlotte has had a miscarriage." Matthew took hold of Hank's arm and they were gone in a flash of light.

Jean's face paled. ~Oh, no.~ Scott slid his arm around his wife's waist.

Rogue pressed a gloved hand to her mouth.

Logan and Remy arrived in the lab. "What's de commotion?" the Cajun asked.

"There is an emergency, Hank had to go," Scott answered, rubbing a hand up and down Jean's back in an effort to comfort her.

Logan raised a bushy brow, waiting for details that weren't forthcoming.

Remy noticed the looks of anguish on the women, the ladies' man always in tune to the female mood. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew how to comfort a teary woman. He eased Rogue's head against his shoulder. "It's okay, chere, you tell Gambit all 'bout it, an' he go make it better."

"Ya cain't make it better. Cain't make a life come back."

"Who died?" Logan was getting concerned. The women crying, even Cyke looked sad. It'd better not be Jubilee or Kitty. "What happened?"

Jean sighed. "We don't know what happened, only that Jess' brother's friend teleported in to get Hank. Their mother has had a miscarriage."

A huge hand reached into Logan's chest and squeezed his heart. If he moved just one little bit, if only to breath, he would shatter into a million pieces. Charlotte. Baby. Miscarriage. He couldn't take it in. *Stay still, don't breath, the pain will pass....*

Except it wasn't passing.

Nearly a half hour later the alarms went off.

"It's Hank and two other men. They have her," Jean told those gathered in the lab.

Scott left to shut the alarms off. A crowd, it had to be a crowd, the room suddenly felt tight and airless, came through the door. Hank led the way, while Thomas carried the bundle that was his mother, the quilt wrapped around her stained with a dark reddish-purple blood. Matthew carried a much smaller blood-stained bundle in his hands. Hank nodded over to the other bed for him to lay it on before turning his attention to the unconscious woman. "Everyone out," he instructed. "Is Dr. Reyes available?"

"Right behind you," a crisp voice answered. She began physically pushing people out of the way. The Indian snarled back at her, but she didn't retreat. Matthew dragged him out with Bishop's help.

It was the scent of blood that forced him to move, the blood and that tiny bundle on the other bed. Logan went for it. He had to look. Had to know. He reached out with one hand and lifted the corner of the towel.

A tiny head, crowned with downy black hair. The small scrap of baby would have fit in the palm of his hand. Now, he knew the true essence of pain as it knifed its way through him.

Logan didn't know how it happened, but he found himself outside the door to the medlab, staring at it, willing it to open and hoping it never would. Bishop stood apart from the group, as usual, while Scott talked quietly with the stranger and Thomas. Remy sat with Ororo, Rogue and Jean.

An argument started between Thomas and his friend. "Raven, not now." Matthew held onto his arm.

"I'm going to kill that sonofabitch," Thomas' deep voice gritted out. He shoved Matthew away against the wall and dove for Logan. A large man, he nonetheless moved with the deadly speed and grace of his totem spirit, almost as if he flew at the smaller man.

Logan was too wrapped up in his own thoughts; he didn't hear him coming until he was flat on his back, the husky Indian on him, his big hands around his throat, pounding his head into the floor.

It took all the men to pry Thomas up, even then Logan was pulled up with him, the bigger man's hands locked tight in his neck.

Logan wasn't trying to fight back. He could deal with the anger. He needed the son's anger to assauge the guilt.

The others separated them, Rogue knocking the Indian out with a fist to the jaw. Matthew and Bishop dragged him out of there, while Logan coughed and hacked, trying to choke in a breath. It still didn't help. The stench of blood, her blood, overpowered his senses. He still floated in a hazy fog.

Ororo put a gentle hand on his shoulder. *No, don't be kind. I can't take it,* he thought to himself, but it was too late. The first tear escaped him, followed by another, and another. She put her arms around him.

After what seemed like a millennia, Dr. Reyes opened the door. Hank stood by the bed, adjusting an oxygen mask over Charlotte's face. His tired eyes took in the hesitant group outside the door.

With a nod to Cecilia, he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Thomas was conscious again, his eyes met Hank's in a stoic inquiry that did nothing to hide his feelings of inadequacy and rage from the others.

"Lady Charlotte is stable for now, but not as yet out of danger," he began. "She has lost a great deal of blood and she has not regained consciousness. We will know more in the next 72 hours."

"How did this happen?" Jean asked. "The baby?"

"I do not know, we will not learn the details until she awakens. She was seven months pregnant. The baby is...was female."

Uncertainty clouded Logan's brain. Seven? That couldn't be right. Seven months ago he didn't know about her or Jess. He would have noticed if she'd been four months pregnant when he met her.

"Three." Thomas said harshly, trying to pull away from Matthew. "She was 3 months pregnant. 6 weeks from delivery."

"I do not comprehend," Hank said slowly, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Torelan. 18 week gestation period." He lunged again, but Rogue helped Matthew pull him back. Now he behaved like the younger son had at first, with a great deal more emotion behind his actions. He could do serious damage where as Jazz could not.

"Let's take this upstairs and let her rest." Scott interrupted. This was going to get ugly.

Logan didn't leave. He opened the door to the medlab and slipped inside. Dr. Reyes glared at him, he glared right back. He wasn't leaving.

Charlotte's still form was dwarfed in the bed, the soft hiss of oxygen the only sound in the room that registered to him. It sounded menacing to him. He reached out to touch her face, her skin a smooth white marble, nearly as white as the sheets she rested on. Her hair tangled out over the pillow, the rich cinnamon color as bright as he remembered. She didn't even seem to be breathing. *Is she alive?* he wondered.

She looked so damned young and innocent. He did this to her. He hadn't seen or spoken to her in three months, not since the morning she practically begged him to leave her mountain house, but he'd thought about her every single day.

Cecilia moved to the other side of the bed to check the IV drip. He raised his eyes to her. He wanted to know, needed to know, but he couldn't say the words.

Dr. Reyes had spent too many years in hospitals to misread his look. "She lost a lot of blood. We managed to get the bleeding stopped. Right now it's up to her to wake up."

He tried to get the word out. "b...."

"The baby is in the morgue, waiting for Ms. Ashcroft to wake up and decide on the disposition," It was strange to her, seeing this hard, powerful man in the grips of an emotion she would have bet money he could never feel. He seemed more human at this moment then he ever had before. She hadn't known until Hank told her that Logan was the father. Logan hadn't known he was the father.

"Sit in that chair," she instructed. He looked ready to pass out, his face nearly as pale as the girl's.

He did as she directed, taking Charlotte's hand in his, squeezing it gently. The slender hand and long tapered fingers looked fragile in his broad hairy paw. He thought of the phone calls he made over the last couple of months, the messages he'd left, the e-mails he'd almost gleefully sent. He deliberately taunted and teased her during a time she didn't need the stress.

The door opened but Logan was too involved with his own thoughts to hear it. The murmur of voices didn't register on him, not until Thomas stood next to him.

"Hank is allowing me in on the condition I won't disturb her by trying to kill you," he said quietly. "I apologize for my actions." Stone faced would have been a mild description of his expression.

"I didn't know," Logan whispered, still looking at the pale face on the pillow. "She didn't tell me."

"She told no one. I had no excuse for attacking you like that. I just..." his voice trailed off.

"...needed someone to blame." Logan finished. He was well aware of the feeling. He blamed himself, too. "How did ya find out?"

"She didn't tell me, either. It wasn't till I felt her call that I gated home."

"Felt her call?" Why didn't she call him? Did she think he'd hurt her, or leave her to die?

When had he given her a reason to depend on him? Trust him?

"She called to me. I found her on the floor in the library. She was already unconscious, blood everywhere." A catch echoed in his deep voice. "She couldn't reach the phone. Matthew was with me, he came to get Hank. I couldn't leave her alone and I couldn't take her to a hospital. Too much to explain. I don't know how I'll explain this to Jess when he gets here."

"She's gonna be okay." Anything else was unthinkable. "The boy's comin'?"

He nodded. "The headmistress is bringing him now. Hank wants blood for a transfusion. He'll be here in a moment to take mine."

"She can have mine." She could have anything of his she needed, all they had to do was tell him what it would be. If he didn't have it, he'd find it.

Cecilia joined the conversation. "She can't have yours, Wolverine. We already checked the residents here, and no one is compatible."

He'd start ranting outloud if he thought he'd get away with it, but the look on the doctor's face told him she'd toss his ass out the door if he got out of line. He wasn't going anywhere.

Logan awoke dazed, something tickling his sense of awareness. He'd dozed off sitting next to the bed, her hand still cradled in his. Her fingers twitched. Everything was blurry, but he saw Thomas on the other side of the bed bending over Charlotte, touching her face.

As his vision cleared, he realized it wasn't Thomas. The man was an Indian, but he was older, his face lined, his long hair a silver-gray, held back by a strip of leather tied around his head. He was dressed in buckskin vest and pants, a silver medallion around his neck. His lips moved, but there was no sound. Logan couldn't smell him, either.

A movement to the side of the Indian drew his attention. A child, about 8 years old, with fair skin and wild black hair, her golden amber eyes looking at Logan curiously, before the Indian touched her shoulder, encouraging her to put her hand on Charlotte's face. The little girl stood on tiptoe to kiss Charlotte's cheek. The Indian kissed her pale lips, then looked over at Logan. He nodded and put his hand on the child's shoulder. The two of them faded away.

The door slammed open, Hank and Cecilia rushed in. Logan was pushed out of the way. He realized then the monitors were beeping wildly. "Get him out of here," Cecilia instructed.

Hands pulled him away. He fought them, but there were too many of them, he was tired and confused by the dream. It was a dream, it had to be a dream.

Charlotte's eyes fluttered open to look up at a strange woman. "Who-"

The stranger gave her a brief half smile, then straightened up. "Doctor, she's awake."

Hank's reassuring visage swam into her range. "Charlotte, how nice to have you with us."

She tried to swallow, but her mouth felt sticky. The stranger brought a cup of water over with a straw. It was a struggle to get anything from it, but worth the effort when she did managed to swallow some.

One hand moved to her stomach, expecting a hard bulge, and finding nothing. "Baby?" she asked, her eyes fastening onto Hank. She knew in her heart what his answer would be, but she needed to hear it.

"I'm sorry, my dear."

She turned her face away from him, caught up in the wave of loss crashing over her. The sobs broke from her even as she tried to hold them back.

Hank slid an arm around her shoulders and held her awkwardly against his chest. Her tears felt hot against his skin where they soaked through his thick fur. He stroked her hair back with the other hand and waited.

Dr. Reyes handed him the box of tissue and backed away.

After another thirty minutes, Hank was back in the doorway with an update. Every eye turned to him. "She's conscious and she's going to be fine. She's asking for Thomas and Jess."

The boys jumped to their feet. Logan made to follow them, but Hank stopped him. "Just them for now."

The pain twisted inside him. She didn't want to see him. He pushed his way out of the room.

Hank grabbed hold of him outside the war room. "Logan, stop. Stay close, she wants to talk to you afterwards."

That mollified him, somewhat. "Do ya know what happened to her now? Why'd she lose th' baby?"

"As far as we can tell, and from what she's told us, it appears to have been a spontaneous miscarriage. It's very sad, but it does happen." He took his friend by the shoulder and walked him back to the medlab. "Please stay here until they're done inside." He went back inside.

Cecilia waited outside the lab herself, disturbed she'd been asked to leave. She scowled at him before turning to glare at the door.

Finally the door opened.

Thomas didn't appear to be more upset by anything she said, Jess still silent. Logan approached the bed, trying to arrange his thoughts in a somewhat less chaotic manner.

Her eyes were dull, but she smiled slightly at him. He took it as a good sign, carefully squeezing her cold hand in his. Their private feud was set aside for more important concerns. Good thing, too; she could tear his heart out right now and he wouldn't stop her.

"M'sorry." Her words were very soft, almost soundless.

Thomas left them to talk in private after kissing her forehead. Jess left more reluctantly with a glare at his father, Thomas waiting for him outside the door.

"Y'got nothin' to be sorry for," he said quietly, sitting down and leaning over to hear her better. "Why didn't ya tell me?"

"I didn't want you running back to save me. I don't need saving. She was mine, I wanted her." Tears formed in her eyes, rolling down her pale cheeks. He brushed them away gently.

"I wish ya could've told me. Don't ever do this again." He touched his lips to hers. "I woulda wanted her too, if I had th' chance."

"I saw her." Her eyes closed. "Raven brought her to say good-bye. She is so beautiful, Logan. She looks like you. Like Jess does."

"She's got yer eyes."

Those same eyes opened now. "You saw her?"

"I think so. I thought I was dreamin'. An Indian an' a little girl."

"Raven. He always watches out for me. He'll look after Lael."

"Lael?"

"I named her weeks ago, after my mother You named the last one, it was my turn. I want to bury her in the cemetery at home as soon as I can."

"This time I ain't leavin' y'alone." Not even if he had to chain her to him. It was time they started acting like a married couple, instead of two spoiled children.

She squeezed his hand slightly and closed her eyes.

End Part 1.

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