Primus Scholae: Part Ten

by Phil Hartman

CEREBRO FILES:

COLLECTIVE CODEFAX: New Mutants II

FILE 16:

CODEFAX: Psi-Lord
REAL NAME: Richards, Franklin Benjamin
DOB: 6/2/87
AGE: 13
HEIGHT: 5'6"
WEIGHT: 120 lbs
HAIR: Blond
EYES: Blue
POWERS: Omega-class telepathy, telekinesis, matter creation/transmutation, chronokinesis, spatiokinesis, biokinesis, ESP, pre/retrocogition; other abilities (?)

9/15/00: Sydney, Australia: 10:00 hrs local:

#I did it ...#

Frank staggered, beaming, as the media approached and he stammered some kind of reply to their questions.

One of his hands was around Ray's waist - #my GOD, she loves me,# he finally realized, #and I'm dripping water on her# - and his other hand slipped to the Olympic gold medal around his still-damp neck.

#My mindshields're holding - this really works - I really WON,# Frank realized, blushing slightly. #I'm in front of millions of people dripping wet, wearing a speedo, and I've won an OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL -#

"SELLOUT ! RACE-TRAITOR !"

The New Mutants froze, shocked, as they turned to see a green glow light up the sky, and resolve itself into a masked black-and-red-costumed figure with brown hair.

"Who - !?" Ray exclaimed.

"You pathetic backstabbing POSER ! You'd waste your powers furthering human greed and that imbecile Xavier's dream !?" the boy shouted. "You're a COWARD, Richards ! But the Demagogue will not stand for your treason ! FACE ME !"

"I - " Frank began, looking at Ray.

They both yelled when a telekinetic blast staggered the "Demagogue," and Nate took to the air with a look of utter hatred.

"Flonq off, you dumbass. Frank made his choice, and we're beyond that anti-human crap," Nate snarled.

The Demagogue's eyes flickered with green fire, and he sneered, "You are, you sycophantic spawn of Xavier's lapdog. But I haven't lost my courage - my father never did - and I refuse to hide any longer !"

He removed his mask, drawing a shocked gasp from the New Mutants as Nate exclaimed:

"CHUCK LEHNSHERR !?"

Frank released Ray, telepathically sending to her, ~Get the rest of the crew to cover ! I'll draw his fire !~

"Are you NUTS !?" Ray shouted aloud, pleading in her eyes as the humans ran screaming. "We've got two weeks' more training with our powers than you do ! If your mindshield slips, you'll read the mind of every person in Sydney - maybe in all of Australia ! You'd go nuts and lose control of your powers !"

"Besides, I can stop this," Illyana said, appearing from mid-air. Chuck landed, blushing, and hung his head before his friends and family.

"I'm sorry, Frank, but I couldn't think of any other way to drive off those bloodsucking human media jerks," the magnakinetic said, suddenly subdued. "I really didn't mean to freak you all out ..."

"You're not gonna carve out my liver ?" Frank asked, smiling tentatively.

"Of COURSE not ! We're buds, I hope - even if I deserve to be griped out after that display ..." Chuck sighed.

"Sure we still are, pal - I wish you'd just asked, though," Frank said, clasping Chuck's wrist. "Right, guys ?"

"He is SO gonna get a wedgie," Bill growled, ducking Bea's noogie attempt.

"OK, now that we know we're not about to kill each other, what could be so important that you'd terrorize humans ?" Ray said, frowning at Chuck.

"I - I turned Chuck's dad into a chicken," Illyana said, blushing.

"WHAT !?" the others yelled.

"Please, 'Yana, you've got to help me find him and set him right !" Chuck pleaded. "He's missing - he was 'ported when he fell into your stepping disc !"

"Oh no !" Illyana gasped. "Chuck, that was a blind 'port - he could be anywhere in space or time !"

"Not anywhere," Frank said, pacing with his hands behind his back. "There's got to be a way we can trace him."

"And we will, once you're wearing more than a speedo," Ray snickered. "Even if it IS a nice look..."

9/14/00: X-Mansion: 19:00 hrs EDT:

"Here, chicken ..."

Gambit grinned as the clucking noise he'd heard before in the shrubs along the back fence intensified.

"Chicken gumbo f'r sure t'night, dat be de trut'," Remy LeBeau chuckled. He charged a card -

- and yelled when the shrubs filled with a blue light.

A chicken, wearing a red and purple helmet, levitated from amidst them with a wrathful look.

"Oh, I GOTTA lay off dat black an' red fish ..." Remy began.

"BGAWK !"

And the back yard exploded in blue fire.

***-

"THERE !"

Emma yawned, seeing her students - #Franklin and Illyana ?# she thought, smilling in mild confusion -huddled around Cerebro, while Moira was clasping her stomach in a desperate attempt to keep from laughing.

"It's not funny, Moira ! Magnus c'ld be dangerous if he's got his powers !" Sean blurted. He looked at Emma and said, "Scan me mind. Ye'd never believe me if I told ye what was goin' on."

Emma did a cursory scan of Sean's recent memory and arched an eyebrow.

"You WHAT ?" she asked Illyana, who was flipping through a spellbook and checking a conference call with Amelia Voght and Amanda Wagner.

"Not NOW, Ms. Frost," the Siberian teleporter pleaded, looking at Amanda. "I've got the eye of newt, the tail of scorpion and the graven image of the Colonel - but where'm I gonna find blood of a female spider in the amount the spell requires ?"

"It's a figurative requirement," Amanda said, shrugging. "Amelia, we've confirmed that New Avalon has powered down their energy weapons."

"I apologize - the more bloodthirsty among us wanted revenge," Amelia said, looking slightly embarassed. "We understand that accidents happen, but Our Lord Chick - er, Magnus must be returned at once. Preferably in humanoid form."

"Blood of a female - of COURSE !" Ray said, removing Cerebro's helmet with a huge grin. "I know JUST the person to ask to help us - and she's wanted to join the Muties for a while !"

The emergency line flared into life, and an ashen Hank McCoy said, "Emma, Sean - have you seen Charles Lehnsherr by any chance ?"

The headmasters looked at the damage to the X-Men's War Room as Chuck said, "I'm here, Dr. McCoy. What happened ?"

"Charles, there's a ... magnakinetic ... fowl assaulting our headquarters," Hank began, going even more pale. "It's not -"

"Oh NO !" Chuck exclaimed, horrified. "We've gotta stop my dad before he destroys the X-Mansion !"

"Chuck, Luna, Tom, Bill, Bea, Nate, Jesse and I'll go after Chicken-Magnus," Ray said, nodding when Illyana opened a stepping disc. "Alexa, Frank, Joe, Gail, Lew, Becky, Leong, Nga and 'Yana, go to Forest Hills, New York, and bring back May Parker. It's plucking time, team !"

***-

"MERDE !"

"Now, Erik, ah know he's a doofus, but that ain't no excuse f'r comin' in here an' playin' circus act with the cutlery," Rogue frowned as Remy ducked another magnetically-hurled knife in the kitchen.

The Magnus-chicken spat a curse-like "BGAWK !" and let the knives drop.

"Merci, m'sieu," Remy muttered as the New Mutants flooded the kitchen. "Charlie ! You gon' deal wit' y'r pere ? Mebbe pluck 'm for me?"

"C'mon, Dad - hi, Mom, I joined the New Mutants, is that OK ?" Chuck asked, hugging his mother as he gathered his father under one arm.

"O' course !" Rogue said, laughing for joy. "Y'all're gonna set mah ex-hubbie right, aren't ya ?"

"Just as soon as we get May Parker for the last spell ingredient, Aunt Rogue," Ray said, hugging her parents as they surveyed the damage. "Uh, hi guys - sorry I didn't write ..."

"It's OK, honey. Just be careful," Scott said as the Mutants darted back through a reopening stepping disc. He looked at Jean and grinned, "I always KNEW Magneto was chicken - OW ! GET THAT BEAK OUT OF MY HAND !"

"Bgawk," the Magnus-chicken said, puffing out his chest feathers before entering the transportal.

***-

"Are you SERIOUS !? Of COURSE I'll join !"

"Thanks, May," Frank said, smiling apologetically at Peter and Mary Jane Parker as May darted up her home's stairs to get packed. "I'm sorry about waking you up, Mr. and Mrs. Parker, but if we don't get Mr. Lehnsherr turned back to human, the spell might become irreversible."

"Oh, that'd be a shame," Peter whispered. "Someone could just bump Magnus into a deep-fryer and save us all the trouble ..."

"BGAWK !"

Peter jumped, clinging to the ceiling, as the Magnus-chicken entered the room with the rest of the New Mutants.

"I'm ready," May said, bounding downstairs with her packed suitcase. "Man, he's really a chicken, huh ?"

"Bgawk," Magnus-chicken muttered, as they departed.

***-

POOF !

"Well," Magnus grumbled, dressed once more in his red and purple togs in the Academy's Danger Room, "so much for the worm-eating jokes. Charles, you're really staying ?"

"The more that I think about it, I'm not so sure," Chuck agreed. The others groaned, but he said, "Guys, I'm really not into hanging with humans."

"And I'm not into the private-school scene," May added, clutching her suitcase with a sigh. "'Yana, could you ..."

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