Primus Scholae: Part Seven

by Phil Hartman

CEREBRO FILES:

COLLECTIVE CODEFAX: New Mutants II

FILE 11:

CODEFAX: Xylem
REAL NAME: Guthrie, Lewis Alvin
AGE: 13
DOB: 8/12/87
HEIGHT: 5'3"
WEIGHT: 108 lbs.
HAIR: Blond
EYES: Green
POWERS: Alpha-class floropathy, florokinesis, geokinesis

FILE 12:

CODEFAX: Critter Queen (under advisement ...)
REAL NAME: Guthrie, Rebecca Lucinda
AGE: 13 DOB: 8/12/87
HEIGHT: 5'
WEIGHT: 102 lbs
HAIR: Blonde
POWERS: Alpha-class faunopathy, animal-specific metamorphosis

9/11/00: Mass. Acad. Back Treeline: 16:09 hrs EDT:

"Ah declare, these critters are so sweet !"

Lew tried not to smirk as he concentrated on animating the plants before him, grateful for Becky's presence and the lack of sweat on his own brow.

#Ah'm finally gettin' a handle on mah powers,# the Kentucky boy thought, shoving a blond curl out of his eyes. The tree before him dipped and swayed, slowly, and he felt disapproval emanating from it.

"OK, OK," Lew relented, releasing the tree from his control. He turned back to where Becky was feeding a crowd of chipmunks and birds, and fought a snicker.

"Hey, ya're makin' trees dance. Ah'm refinin' mah power," Becky said haughtily, handing out bread crumbs to a pair of robins.

"Beck ... ya ever feel like we're outta place up here ?" Lew said after a long moment.

Becky sent the animals away - letting a chipmunk curl up on her shoulder - and turned to give Lew a sympathetic look. "Ya're still not comfortable here, are ya ?" she asked her brother.

Lew sighed and said, "Ah feel so ... not dumb, 'zactly; we're both as smart as most o' these rich kids. But -"

"A-HA ! Despite the fact Paige's a rich rock star-slash-superheroine, an' Josh's had platinum country an' gospel albums, AN' Joelle's a world-class fashion designer, we're still the poor little redneck white trash from Cumberland," Becky joked. "Lew, let the hard-core Yankee elitists think what they want. Our friends're behind us, an' WE know we're better'n most o' these snobs."

"Ah know - the rest o' the Mutants've been a big help - but ah still can't shake th' feelin' we're not welcome here," Lew said, kicking the dirt. "Ah never wore a uniform outside o'baseball b'fore, an' now most o'mah day's spent in a three-piece suit or spandex. An' there's an FOH youth cell on campus !"

"Oh, THEM," Becky smirked wickedly. "Ah can't believe you're afraid o' THOSE losers. Lew, ya know how fast Ms. Frost'd stomp on 'em if they got outta line ? Relax ! Enjoy y'r powers an' school here ! We're human too, ya know - the law's on our side, 'member ?"

"OK, Paige Jr.," Lew chuckled, dodging a pine cone Becky hurled at his head. They ran, laughing, until the earth trembled slightly.

"OK, deep breath," Becky warned Lew. He agreed, nodding, and the tremor died down.

"Wonder if the USGS'll track that back here," Lew said, gulping hard. "Ah gotta be more careful ..."

"Well, at least one o'us'll feel the earth move," Becky snickered. "Ah'm startin' t'wonder if any o'these Yankee boys'll ever look at a little ol' wild girl from Lexington."

***-

"Your sister IS kinda hot," Bill admitted to Lew the next morning as they changed for power practice.

"Ya want me t'hook ya up ?" Lew offered, reluctantly - #this IS Bill Shade we're talkin' 'bout here,# he reminded himself - as he struggled with his boot.

Bill looked thoughtful, then shook his head.

"If we started makin' out, and she turned into, like, a sheep or somethin', that'd be REALLY creepy," Bill said, wincing.

"Bill's too polite to ask sheep to date him. He'd rather let them come to him first," Tom grinned evilly.

***-

"HE SAID WHAT !?"

"I can't believe you tried to hook Becky up with Bill !?" Bea exclaimed, horrified, as the Mutants gathered around their usual lunch table.

Bill shot his sister an aggrieved look until Bea added, "She IS a country girl, Bill. No knowing what moves she might put on you."

"Ah'm wild, not kinky," Becky muttered with a dark smile. She brightened up when she saw Lew blushing, and added, "Now, Lew there -"

"HUSH !" Lew demanded, turning brighter red. "Ya swore ya wouldn't say anythin' ..."

"Someone's got a crush, I think," Nate teased, arching an eyebrow. "I recognize the 'I'm-an-embarassed-guy-with-a-crush' look, Guthrie..."

"Nate, behave," Ray ordered, catching glances from the human students at nearby tables. "We don't want to cause a scene."

"Ja wahl, mein frau," Bill growled. "Whatsamattah, Guthrie, no guts ? We're mutants - we shouldn't have to play these kids' games if we like someone."

"Oh, THAT'S a laugh ! Bill Shade, horndog extraordinaire, is exploring mutant-specific social standards for romantic relationships !? BWAHAHAHAHA !!!" Tom exploded. "Bill Shade, social engineer ! AHAHAHAHAHA !!! Oh, God, this is too rich - what's next, marriage counseling !? AHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEE - SNORK - BWHEEEHAHAHAH !!!"

***-

"Well, ya SHOULD tell her ..."

"Ah cain't - an' keep y'r voice down an' study !" Lew demanded, glaring across the library table. "She's a princess, f'r God's sake !"

"An exiled princess, Lew, who c'ld use a friend - an' ah know ya think she's a goddess, but she's really jes' like you an' me," Becky insisted, breaking into a grin. "B'sides, ya owe me f'r tryin' t'hook me up with Bill Shade."

"Point. What ah was thinkin' ... ah'm sorry," Lew said sincerely. Becky nodded in silent acceptance, then waved at Luna.

Lew turned brighter red as the girl approached, sitting beside Becky, and mumbled, "Hi, Luna ... ah was wonderin' if ya'd like t' ... uhm ..."

"Go to that dance club outside of Snow Valley ? I'd love to !" Luna exclaimed, beaming. "I've always wanted to try slow dancing - Dad thinks it's silly, but he's got NO patience, you know how super-speedsters are ..."

She grinned, writing Lew a note, and headed out of the library with a huge smile. Lew, stunned, examined the note and blinked.

"7 p.m. Tonight. What'm ah gonna wear t'go slow dancin' ?" Lew wheezed.

"Oh, ya've got it bad," Becky giggled. "Only time a guy evah worries 'bout what t'wear is when he's in love ..."

Lew blushed again, leaving before the floor could sprout flowers.

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