Children of a Lesser Gene

by Phil Hartman

6/4/2013: X-Mansion: 08:12 hrs EDT:

"No. Nononononono."

"Con," Deirdre Summers sighed to her twin as they started in on breakfast, "I reviewed the tape. And
trust me, it wasn't all that fun. Dad was our 'brother' - so to speak."

The reddish-brown-haired boy across the table from her held his hands to his temples and moaned, "We're Summers. That's suffering enough, Deedee."

"Stop angsting ! You know how - OW - oh crap, Connor, you dumbass ! Now I gotta vent !" Deirdre snarled. She flung open the kitchen window and fired twin eyebeams of white energy into the lake, blasting the water.

"There," the once-more green-eyed, red-haired girl frowned, turning back to sit at the kitchen table in
her pink bathrobe and wolverine slippers. "Will you stop angsting ? It's weird, but not THAT weird."

"Wha's weird ?" a small red-haired boy asked, the noise of his pajamaed feet shuffling against the linoleum making his siblings turn to see him. 

"Dad," Connor smirked. "Here, Ev, lemme help ya up."

A pinkish stepstool materialized out of thin air, and 6-year-old Evan Summers found his seat at the Summers kitchen table. "Cool ! Sugar Bombs !" the boy grinned as Connor passed him the milk and a bowl.

"We didn't give you those. You teked open the cupboard by yourself, remember ?" Con winked. Evan
winked back at his older brother, but a psionic snicker made the kids look up.

"Nice try, guys, but it's not going to work," Jean Summers smiled at her younger brood. "Deirdre, I wish you'd asked me about you guys' birth ..."

"Mother, Con and I are 13. We deserved to know the truth, no matter how horrible it was," Deirdre said through a mouthful of toast. "Why the heck did you
have an -"

~I didn't HAVE your father's clone implanted in me. Your Uncle Hank mixed up the embryos when I was being inseminated,~ Jean sent, casting a glance at Evan. He smiled at her with a milk moustache, and she wiped his face gently.

"We'll talk more when there aren't so many ears about," Jean told her elder children with a meaningful
nod.

"I'm old 'nough !" Evan insisted with a sigh. Jean kissed the top of his head, looking over at the door
as Scott walked in with an exhausted expression.

"Late night ?" Jean asked. 

"Yeah, 'bro,' busy ?" Connor grinned. Jean frowned at him, but Scott just gave a half-smile and crashed at the seat at the head of the table.

"So. You know about my rebirth," he said with a faint smile. "It wasn't exactly ..."

"Mom's right," Deirdre interrupted. "Sorry, Ev, but this is too weird for you, even if you are a Summers."

The little boy's face contorted in fear as he asked, "'M ... 'm not a Summers ?"

"No ! You are ! Don't worry," Deirdre said quickly, squeezing his hand with a sheepish expression. "You're still my little brother ! I promise."

"And mine," Connor smiled, high-fiving Evan. "Now, Nathan's, we're not sure about ..."

"You are joking, right, runt ?" the air replied. Evan gave a cheer as Nathan Dayspring Askani'son
materialized from nowhere and sat down beside his youngest sibling.

"Nate !" Evan giggled. He levitated over to Nathan's lap, nodding as the Slayer of Apocalypse pulled the boy's Sugar Bombs over to let Evan continue to eat.

"Missed you, too, kid," Nathan chuckled. "Scott. I hear the twins heard the schpiel about your -"

"I saw the video. God, I hope my husband never has the lack of taste to tape my birthings," Deirdre
gagged.

"What !? It was a beautiful moment !" Jean laughed. "If you don't mind the sweat and the -"

"Jean, please. We are trying to eat," Scott pleaded. "And the last thing I need to relive is THAT moment, sacred as it was ..."

Jean gave him a wicked expression, and Scott burst into laughter as his uncovered eyes glowed red
briefly.

"Still amazing, after all these years, to see you without those flonqing glasses," Nathan smiled
wistfully.

"Still amazing, after all these years, to see you without a wedding band," Deirdre replied archly. "How
is Our Lady of Luck these days, big brother?"

Nathan shot her a glower and muttered, "You're Logan's daughter. You have to be, with that aim at the
jugular ..."

"Sorr-ee," Deirdre sighed. "I'd just think that after over 20 years of living in sin, you'd get it official."

"Wha's livin' in sin ? Is that when ya make Mr. Sin'ster int' a house ?" Evan asked, looking at Nathan. 

"Oh, I wish, Ev," Scott said wistfully. "He'd make a nice condo, don't you think, Jean?"

"Or a ranch style home, dear," Jean nodded, breaking into snickers.

"You two are sadists," Deirdre grinned. She rose from her seat and gathered up everyone else's dishes,
continuing, "Pax on the Domino thing, Nate ? I'm feeling a little wonky this morning after seeing that
birth video."

"Wonky ? I thought nausea and horror were usually the symptoms of learning your father was born at the same time as you," Nathan grinned evilly, setting Evan down. 

"Ev ? Go ahead and get dressed - I'll take ya t'the VR-cade," Connor called. Evan cheered, racing
upstairs, as Jean and Scott gave their middle son looks of gratitude.

"You guys deserve a day off, and I really don't wanna hang out here durin' summer vacation," the teen
shrugged, rising. "Yo, Deedee - you comin'?"

"Nah. Ari, Gabi, Dara and I're going shopping," Deirdre replied, following Connor upstairs. "Later,
guys."

"Later," Scott and Jean called. They looked at Nathan, who rose, and Scott asked, "You're gone again
so soon?"

Nathan sighed, opening a transportal, and said, "You wouldn't believe what Dom's got set up for me today. Three depositions, a divorce hearing and a civil suit. And I thought being a freedom fighter was tough."

"Ah, but lawyers scare people more," Jean smiled. "Knock'em dead, tiger."

"Thanks, 'Mom,'" Cable grinned, fading out.

"So," Scott smiled as Jean curled into his lap. "You, I and an empty house. Whatever shall we do ?"

Jean laughed, waving as the kids raced by, already dressed and cleaned up.

"Wha - AAUGH ! Dad, Uncle Hank's experiments got loose again !" Connor yelled as he opened the front door.

Scott and Jean traded a sigh as a clamor arose from the crowded front porch, one word echoing:

"Pi-ka-chu ?"

back to Phil Hartman's stories | Cyke and Logan archive | the Summerlands | comicfic.net