Babysitting, And Life's Other Little Insanities

by Alison Boehm

"Remind me, again, why I agreed to do this with you?"

Nate took his eyes off the road momentarily and grinned widely at her. It was rather like getting the puppydog look from a shark, she couldn't help but notice. Bastard, Domino thought affectionately. He's probably looking forward to this, the masochist.

At the edges of her mind, the link sparkled gold with amusement. #I heard that.#

`Good. And you probably are, you know,' she sent back insistently. 'It takes a special kind of self-loathing to volunteer for something like this. And just how did you manage to trick me into helping?'

#My good looks and charming personality?#

`Charming, right. Charming like a snake. Try again, big guy.'

#Maybe later. We're here.# Nate swung the car into a long, tree-lined drive, and it wasn't long before the mansion was in full view. He put the car in park and then paused, twisting slightly in his seat to look at Domino. "Thank you for coming. Really," he said seriously. "I know this probably isn't your idea of how to spend a fun Friday. But I appreciate it." He leaned closer and kissed her softly.

Dom returned the kiss for several moments, then reluctantly disengaged herself. "Well, it's been awhile since we've had any down time. It'll be nice to spend the day together."

He raised one eyebrow at her and pointed out helpfully, "We are supposed to be babysitting my sister here. I don't know if this technically qualifies as `down time' or not."

Rolling her eyes at him, Dom laughed and swung open her door. "Nate, she's a year and a half. How big a handful could she be? Now c'mon, I think I see your dad looking out the window trying to figure out what we're doing." She slammed the door and started towards the mansion, and Nate was suddenly glad she was out of earshot of his laughter.

****

"I had to ask, didn't I?"

Nate, who was in the midst of attempting to extricate a stuffed walrus from the depths of the toilet, didn't look up. "Hmmm?"

"Nothing, dear- Rachel! Give me that!" Dom lunged for the shampoo bottle, managing to intercept it before Rachel had a chance to put it in her mouth. Good lord, she thought wearily, does everything end up in this kid's mouth? She set it a safe distance away and turned back around to face the little girl, just in time to catch the beginnings of full-on temper tantrum.

Wincing, Domino bent down and scooped up Rachel, carrying her out of the bathroom and into her nursery in an attempt to distract her. "Siryn's got nothing on your lungs, kiddo," she sighed, bouncing the girl on her hip and roaming around the small room, trying to not to let the wailing deafen her. She was on the verge of marching back to the bathroom and giving the kid to Nate when Rachel abruptly quieted down. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, she reminded herself. Rachel seemed to be fascinated by something on a shelf, so Dom stepped closer in the hopes of keeping her interest on that and off of throwing a fit. It took a minute, but finally Domino realized what the baby was reaching for. "Aw, kid. Anything but that. Anything. I'm begging you here. Please?"

Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of the big-screen tv reflecting on the universe's sadistic sense of humor when a noise from the doorway made her look up. Nate was hanging onto the doorjamb, sides shaking with barely contained laughter. He caught the look on her face and started to choke.

"Laugh it up, lout," she muttered under her breath. "You'll be joining Wally the Walrus in the upstairs toilet in a minute." He only laughed harder and parked himself next to her on the floor. Dom entertained the notion of elbowing him hard.

Rachel bounced in Dom's lap and half-turned to face her, singing along with the "Barney" theme song at the top of her lungs, an ear to ear grin on her face and a stuffed Barney in her arms. Nate smirked at the two of them and leaned back on his forearms. "Hey," he pointed out, "at least it's a purple singing dinosaur·"

That time, she did elbow him.

****

"Now it's my turn to mock you," Domino gleefully informed Nathan. He gave her a most unamused look, which would've been more effective had there not been half a jar of toddler food smeared into his hair and at various other locations around his person.

"You know, you could come over here and try to help me."

She cackled from her vantage point several feet away, where she'd calculated was out of Rachel's throwing range. "Oh, somehow I think you're doing juuuuust fine on your own, big brother." He mock-glared at her and turned back to his sister, who met him with a handful of mashed peas to the face.

Several minutes later, she was able to stand up straight again. Dom wiped tears from the corners of her eyes and wandered over to the table, ruffling Rachel's hair. "Kid, you and I are gonna get along just fine. I can tell." She wrinkled her nose at Nate. "You, on the other hand, need to be hosed down before I'm coming within three feet of you."

He rocked back on his heels and tilted his head upwards, sending a prayer to the heavens and grumbling, "Is it 10:30 yet?"

"Not even close. In fact, it's not even five o'clock yet." Her tone was just a little too satisfied for her own good.

Groaning, he cracked an eye open at her. "Don't tell me that."

"Hey, you're the one who called up Jean and said we- WE, Nathan!- would watch her for a day. You've exempted yourself from the right to bi- uh, complain."

"I thought they could use a break. Especially on Jean's birthday. Sue me."

Dom patted him on the shoulder, being careful to avoid any stray bits of food. "Oh, I'm quite sure they needed a break. In fact, if she's like this all the time, we'll be lucky if they decide to come back at all."

"Stuck with a baby," he suddenly grinned at her. "Whatever would we do?"

"Here you go with that `we' mess again. I don't know what you'd do. Personally, I'd be laughing my, ah, butt off at you from Rio." She glanced down at Rachel, looking for an out, determined to steer the conversation away from that line of thinking. "I think her diaper needs to be changed. She's getting that look like she's about to cry again."

A devious expression came over Nate's face as he got to his feet and started backing towards the door quickly. "Sure. Changing table's upstairs. I'm gonna get myself cleaned up." He whirled and exited the room, hightailing it for the stairs.

"Oh, no you don't- Nate! Get back here! Do I look like I know how to change a diaper?!"

He was halfway up the steps already, and she mused that for all his bulk, he could certainly move fast when dirty diapers were involved. "Domino, you can assemble, load, and fire a Glock in under sixty seconds. Somehow, I think you can figure this one out."

Dom stood there in stupefied silence for a moment, then sighed and lifted Rachel out of her highchair. "Say goodbye to your brother," she told the little girl, who blew a raspberry at her and reached for her hair. "Because after today, he is so dead."

****

There were things in this world, Domino reflected, that were just wrong. Racism. Bigotry. Those "singing navel" jeans commercials. And dirty diapers.

She was fairly sure that had been one of the more disgusting things she'd ever done in her life. And that was saying a lot.

"I still can't believe you stuck me with that," she grumbled, studiously ignoring Nate, who was playing with Rachel on the floor and managing to look damned cute doing it. She felt her determinedly pissy mood slipping away despite her best efforts to hang on to it and finally sighed, slipping off the couch to sit next to them.

"Dom, it was two hours ago. It couldn't have been that bad." Nate handed a brightly colored Lego to Rachel, who happily added it to the already-precariously leaning tower on the living room floor.

She glared at him and poked him in the side. "Were you there? Nope, didn't think so. Shut your mouth, or I'll suggest we let Rachel fingerpaint."

At this, Rachel whirled around to face the two adults, a pleading expression on her 18-month-old face. "Paaaaainnt?" she asked plaintively. Nate shot Domino a murderous look over the baby's head. #Now look what you started! Oath, stop giggling. If we let her fingerpaint in the house Scott and Jean will kill me.#

`Aw, have a heart. Besides, can you say no to that face?' She was really getting quite the kick out of this. Nate could be such a pushover when it came to his sister, she ruminated. 'Besides, I'm sure we can find washable paints somewhere in the house. If not in her room, then Bobby's, at least.'

Rachel stood up unsteadily and toddled over to Dom's side, blinking cutely. "Paint?"she tried again. Domino gently turned her around to face Nate. "Ask your brother," she smirked, and watched Nate's resolve crumble under the force of the unbearably cute gaze. He resisted for a moment more, and then just gave in. "Oh· all right."

Five minutes later, Nathan was seriously questioning his sanity. Even though they'd covered the entire kitchen floor with newspaper, she was still managing to make a mess. He just hoped Jean wasn't too fond of the linoleum. Domino had once again retreated to a safe distance and was watching, amused. She would be getting a kick out of this, he ruminated. Not her mother that's going to come home and have a fit about her kitchen.

Dom caught a movement out of the corner of her eye and snickered. Rachel was tugging at Nate's jeans, orange paint all over her hands. "Um, Nate?" she managed. "I hate to tell you, but orange is not your color." He blinked at her for a minute, uncomprehending, then glanced down, realization slowly dawning on him. The redheaded child smiled widely and reached up, leaving a bright streak of paint across his cheek, giggling in delight.

"Looks like somebody's going to need another bath," Domino observed, beginning to feel just a tiny twitch of sympathy for him.

Luckily, it didn't last long.

****

Domino glanced over at the snoring lump next to her on the couch and smiled. Nate had to have been exhausted. They'd finally been able to pry Rachel away from her easel with the promise of a Disney movie, and she'd settled in to watch it with the baby while Nate did the best he could to put the kitchen back to rights. He'd wandered into the living room an hour later looking like he'd just run a gauntlet with Apocalypse, Stryfe, and Sinister, and had flumped down next to her and promptly passed out.

All things considered, she reflected, it was probably really mean to be letting Rachel draw all over his upper body with a permanent marker. But he should've known better than to fall asleep around a hyper child. Dom grinned and stretched, finally noticing the time, and reached over to pluck the Sharpie out of Rachel's hands. Surprisingly, this didn't elicit any crying, and she realized that the baby must've been pretty tired too. "After all," she whispered. "You've had a long day running us ragged. I must say I've not seen Nate this wiped in a very long time." Carrying Rachel up the stairs to her room, she continued softly, "Yep, kiddo, this definitely has the makings of a beautiful friendship."

A few minutes later, Dom stepped out of the room, snagging a baby monitor and leaving the door open just a crack. She trotted down the steps and stopped in the doorway to the living room, smiling at Nate, who was sitting up and rubbing his head confusedly. Obviously, he hadn't caught sight of himself in anything reflective yet.

"I just put her to bed. And speaking of that, I think it's time for you to go to bed too. Jean and Scott should be home pretty soon, and I've got the baby monitor." She held out a hand to him. "I think there's probably a spare bed, don't you? C'mon."

Nate gave her a lopsided smile as he hauled himself off the couch and approached. "And what'll we sleep in, hmmm?" he queried, slipping his arms around her waist and drawing her close. Dom gasped as his lips found a spot on her neck and lingered. She drew in a shaky breath and tightened her grip on him. "Keep that up, and nightclothes will be the least of your worries·"

Grinning mischeviously, he scooped her up in his arms, ignoring her protestations. "Is that a threat?"

"Hell no. It's a promise."

~fin~

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