Occam's Razor

by Alicia McKenzie

I grew up knowing sacrifice as second nature
in a world where compromise was gospel
where every day survived
took with it into sunset a piece of your soul
where every kindness, every selfless act was balanced
by a willing step into damnation
and all you can do is try and ride
the tipping scales of your life

So what did I see worth saving in you
a lost and angry younger me?
The question echoes still in my dreams
what did I see that made the decision for me?
That set it in stone, made the price worth paying
that made me take Death's hand
and dance with her at the edge of the abyss?

I could say I saw myself in you
a reflection of what I used to be
but then, the kinship is only skin-deep
You fight the world because it frightens you
but when I was lost and angry
I lashed out in rage, not fear
Sorrow, not incomprehension
I'm a killer by choice, by nature
not accident

I could say I saw my past in you
Both drawn to a world not our own
but my life sentence becomes your second chance
to know the joy I left centuries behind

Like me, you battle loneliess
bereft of all you once knew
but you haven't tasted enough life
to be on a first-name basis with loss
Hurting, but only enough to want revenge
still so far left to fall until you know despair
the sort of pain that would make oblivion a blessing

I could say I saw innocence in you
A kinder way to tell you what a child you are
a warning of how much deeper the knife can plunge
piercing your heart in any unguarded moment
of how much blood and life is left in you to lose

I could say I saw potential in you
and pretend I was gamesmaster, not pawn
Salve for my pride, but still not the truth

What did I see...?
I saw life...
...and I've seen enough death

Sometimes the truth is that simple.

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